From Nonprofit Leader to Wellbeing Consultant

LinkedIn: [00:00:00] Linkedin presents.

Jonathan Fields: [00:00:13] So today I'm so excited to share one of our new features on the SPARKED podcast, Career Transformation Stories. We invite guests to share inspiring stories of career change from reimagining the work that they're currently doing. So it feels so much more alive to leaving behind unfulfilling jobs to find, create, or really even reimagine more inspired, energized, purposeful, meaningful, and joy filled paths. And we're exploring also how they're Sparketype has played a role in this journey. It's all about how to transform work into one of the best parts of your life. So next up, we are exploring one woman's career transformation story, from burned out nonprofit leader to mindful work consultant, helping leaders and organizations take a more human approach to what they do. Now, quick note you'll hear us mention something we call Sparketypes in conversation. What is that? Turns out we all have a unique imprint for work that makes us come alive. This is your Sparketype when you discover yours, everything, your entire work life, even parts of your personal life and relationships, they tend to begin to make more sense. And until we know ours, we're kind of fumbling in the dark. And just like today's listener did, you can discover your Sparketype for free at sparketype.com. You'll find a link in the show notes. So today we're sitting down with Kim Fabian, and despite her early and big success and drive in the nonprofit sector, she found herself drained by the relentless demands of her role and driven by a desire to escape the intense pressure and sense of misalignment that she experienced.

Jonathan Fields: [00:01:42] She made the decision to leave her role and embark on a journey of self-discovery, realigning her work with what lit her up and what led her to reclaim a sense of ease and well-being along the way, and a deep sense of self-reflection and discovering her Sparketype, or her imprint for work that made her come alive, really helped him uncover an alternate path. Tapping into these deep insights, it helped her understand her innate drive to guide and teach others, while also avoiding the pitfalls of becoming overly focused on the type of work that emptied her out and Kim's transition. It was not without challenges. She had to confront self-doubt and societal pressure surrounding her decision to leave such a prestigious leadership position. But her commitment to personal growth and well-being really propelled her forward and ultimately led to the fulfilling path that she now walks. This is a journey that reminds us that sometimes the path arises not from adding more, but peeling back until we rediscover our true essence. Let's dive in. I'm Jonathan Fields and this is SPARKED. Hey, and before we dive into today's episode A quick share. So if you're a coach, a consultant or a leader and you would just love to stand out more in 2024 and beyond, with a powerful new credential and a set of results driven superpowers, we have got something for you.

Jonathan Fields: [00:03:09] With nearly a million people now discovering their profiles, the Sparketypes have become a global phenomenon. People want their work to light them up, and oftentimes they would love some help along the way, which is why we developed our certified Sparketype advisor training. As a certified advisor, you will discover cutting edge tools that spark profound work life. Client transformations stand out with a highly unique credential and skill set in a crowded market. Find ease and flexibility with templated engagement flows, you'll become a part of a global network of change makers, and you'll rack up 40 ICF continuing education credits. Our fall cohort is enrolling now with visionaries just like you, and we would love to invite you to uplevel your capabilities as a coach or consultant or leader by becoming a certified Sparketype. Advisor. To learn more about the fall training and see if it's right for you, just click. The link in the show notes now or visit sparketype.com. Slash pros. An opening question, which is always a curiosity in mind, which is was there a story in your mind? About work, about careers, about jobs, what it was, what it wasn't, what it should or shouldn't be. Your expectations when you were growing up?

Kim Fabian : [00:04:29] I would say I was really fortunate growing up, that my parents never pigeonholed me into a certain career and made me feel like all of the opportunities were open to me to pursue what lit me up or what sparked me, for lack of a better word. And that was very fortunate. However, I will say that the work ethic was born in me very early on and I've had a job at some capacity, whether it was summer or during the year from the age 13 on. So there was always a desire to perform, to be responsible and and to make things happen, like a drive, if you will.

Jonathan Fields: [00:05:15] Yeah. I mean, how I'm curious, especially sort of like, you know, earlier on, how did that feel for you? Like, was it, you know, on the one hand, rewarding because you always were busy and having something to do. And I would imagine like, like when you have that drive, oftentimes, you know, it ends up in outcomes and results that can feel good to you. But did you experience any sort of downside to that at the same time?

Kim Fabian : [00:05:37] Well, as a teenager who was required to work, there might be a little bit of resentment there. I think, to be honest. But I think the the biggest thing that it created with me, in me is that sense of responsibility and drive and getting things done. And I think that did influence later on in my career, this, this transformation and shift of that responsibility really burning me out.

Jonathan Fields: [00:06:07] So let's start to to head there then. So when you when you take this drive in the sense of just deep responsibility into your adult life, into your working world, what does that look like in the early days?

Kim Fabian : [00:06:19] In the early days, I would say that a little bit of perfectionism, you know, doing things in a very certain way, and then that growing into more of a leadership capacity where you feel responsible for other people, for their performance, for how you are managing them. And it does. You know, I like to say a lot with the clients I work with now. It creates a weight, you know, on your on your own shoulders that if you're not monitoring it or establishing the correct boundaries, that can become really heavy at times when you're focused not only on the outcomes for the organization, but also the people. And so there's a delicate balance there.

Jonathan Fields: [00:07:06] So tell me what you were actually doing, where you were feeling this. What was the job?

Kim Fabian : [00:07:11] I would say it's it's been a variety of things. So I started out early on more in public relations and marketing for a major health institution. And so it was very fast paced, very deadline oriented because it was in PR, there was always a lot of deadlines and things that needed to be done by a certain time. And because it was a world class institution at a very high level. So there was just a lot of pressure to perform and to move things forward at a quick pace.

Jonathan Fields: [00:07:46] Yeah. I mean, it's interesting also because if this was health care, you said. Right. Yes. So when you combine the fast paced and, and the world of PR and messaging and storytelling with the world of, of healthcare, there's a lot on the line there, you know. So if you're somebody who has a really strong drive and a strong sense of responsibility, I would imagine, like, you take something where there's already like a probably a lot of pressure and your internal sort of like voice is just piling on to that.

Kim Fabian : [00:08:15] Oh, absolutely. Absolutely. And that never really went away for me, I think. And even during this transformation, if you will, this transition that I've made, that's one thing that I've really had to grapple with.

Jonathan Fields: [00:08:27] Yeah. So what were you what were you doing before the transformation? What's sort of like the last step, the the work that you're doing before you decide. Okay. Something has to change.

Kim Fabian : [00:08:38] Well, I moved from Baltimore, Maryland area to Greenville, South Carolina to lead an arts organization, and it was something that my husband and I desired to move south to, to just get a new life after our son graduated high school and to make a bit of a of a transition there. And I had previously been a CEO for a nonprofit, so it was taking that next step up. And when I got there, it was a level of dysfunction that I had not anticipated. And I'm sure a lot of other nonprofit leaders who have assumed that role can relate to that challenge. And five weeks after I moved here, Covid hit. And so that added a whole other layer of complexity of pressure to an already difficult situation. And it really was a quest for survival for this organization that myself, the board, the team and other stakeholders had to give our all over two or so years to do a 180 turnaround, and I found myself driving to work one day thinking, I hope I don't die in a car accident today because I don't want to go out being this miserable. And it wasn't because I didn't feel good about what I did and the changes that we made, because we did, you know, transform the organization. But in bringing new life to it, it drained the life out of me.

Jonathan Fields: [00:10:07] Mhm. I would imagine so many people can relate to that, you know, especially in a leadership role and especially in a leadership role where you're going through just a profound challenge that nobody saw coming. And then you pile on the nonprofit world, which is kind of innately challenging, you know, even to start with, you know, and then you make this really big lifestyle change, move your family to a new place, you know, and then walk into an organization where you realize, wait a minute, this actually isn't what I thought it was. Even even without the pandemic, you're like, wait, there's this is a different culture, a different dynamic. I wonder how how did you start to experience it in the early days, like when you get because so many people have this experience of saying yes to a job, right? And they think they know what it's going to be, they think they know what they're saying yes to like it's it presents on paper really. Well, the interviews they've had are like, oh, this sounds perfectly aligned. And they show up and by the end of like the first day, they're like, oh, wait, this isn't what I thought it was like, how does that how does that start to present in this circumstance for you?

Kim Fabian : [00:11:11] It actually presented immediately for me, even though I had interviews and had visited the, you know, the organization previously. Um, the day that I started, I walked into what would be my office and it looked like a tornado had hit. And it was, you know, I remember my board chair and the team saying, well, we didn't want to move anything because we didn't know what you would want to keep. And I was thinking, okay, so now, like I had to to. Sift through all of this.

Kim Fabian : [00:11:41] Stuff, 99% of it, which was completely irrelevant to what I needed to do, but it just added that layer of weight and of almost like a, you know, when you get in there, like, okay, so this is the start. What is peeling back the layers of the onion really going to look like when you go even deeper?

Jonathan Fields: [00:12:02] Yeah. I mean it's like when you get those are signals, you're like, oh, is this actually representative of sort of like the larger approach to how everybody does everything here as how long was it between then and when Covid actually hit?

Kim Fabian : [00:12:19] It was five weeks before we actually had to shut down and it was an arts organization. So it was public facing. And, you know, it wasn't, um, you know, we had people who we had to close so people couldn't visit. We had to go virtual with classes and, and things like that, which they'd never done before. So that drive, that sense of responsibility within me is like, all right, let's dig in. Let's solve this problem. Let's continue to make an impact in the community as much as we can. And now, while we have this little pause, if you will, for for operations, let's take some time to really strengthen the foundations of this organization. And so fortunately, I had a wonderful executive committee of my board that supported me, that supported that direction, and and a great team that was just willing to do anything and everything to keep the mission alive. So that was that was the the saving grace and what allowed me to really make an impact. But again, it was it was exhausting.

Jonathan Fields: [00:13:26] Yeah. I would imagine, you know, and I know for a lot of nonprofits during that window of time, also funding dried up. You know, it was and you know, this is this is the lifeblood. Um, you know, because you're not selling product, you're relying on the goodwill of others to fund the organization. Was that a part of what you were experiencing there also?

Kim Fabian : [00:13:50] Fortunately, this was a young organization that had some very affluent founders, and they really took the reins to help me continue to to raise some capital expenses that help the organization sustain itself. So when I got there, my husband said he'll never forget the call that I made to him, like two months after I started, where I told him I just had to tell my board, we only have enough money in the bank to survive for two more months. And so that rallied the troops and when I ended up leaving, I had left the the new CEO with a year's worth of funding in the bank. So it was on much more solid footing, and I felt really good about everything that we were able to accomplish, but I never intended to leave that role after just two years. Yeah.

Jonathan Fields: [00:14:41] So? So take me there then. So your two years in, you're you're in that car and like that, that, you know, like that voice comes into your head, um, where do you go from there? Like, what do you what do you do with that?

Kim Fabian : [00:14:54] I'd say that that voice was in my head about a year and a half in. Okay. And so where I went from, that was I knew that something had to change, and I knew that I had to create an exit strategy. I also knew that I respected the people within that organization enough that I wanted to do it the right way and not just give two weeks notice. So I actually ended up giving four months notice. I said, I want to be here to help you recruit and onboard the new person and, you know, transition with the team and all of that. So I felt really good about the way I left. And you know, the new CEO is doing a really nice job. So it was nice to see all of that work, you know, paying off now. But it's hard because, you know, one of the things that you grapple with personally is why can't I do this job for longer? Right. And I think I've had to do a lot of internal, you know, conversations with myself to say it wasn't that I couldn't do it, it's that I didn't want to do it. It wasn't a good fit for me. And that's where for me, like the Sparketype really came in.

Jonathan Fields: [00:16:05] Mhm. Yeah. I mean this is a moment where I think so many people are really, they start to ask themselves what's really going on here. And also I think this is a moment where a lot of folks often say to who am I? And like, what do I actually need from this beyond a paycheck, beyond the desire to satisfy whatever sort of like topical drive or responsibilities like that were part of this thing? Like, what actually do I need from work to nourish me? Like to actually feel alive? And it sounds like this. This was the moment that you were in?

Kim Fabian : [00:16:37] Absolutely. I mean, you know, all of the positive messages you hear, you know, make a big change, make the move. You almost expect to be rewarded by the universe when you make a bold move to move to a new place. And it's all going to be wonderful and exciting. That is when that doesn't happen. Yeah, exactly. When that doesn't happen, you're like, dang it. And so, well, let's make another big move. And I will say, my husband and I both left our jobs at the same time. Oh, wow. Um, and so, you know, he's taken the Sparketype as well. So we gave ourselves, like, a year to just pause and say what is next for us? And, you know, having that tool to help us say what lights us up. You know, what is going to be fulfilling. You know, we're at a stage in our careers where we could be about ten years away from retirement. So you know that having that to be able to finish your career in a way that is really fulfilling and that feels good every day was so important.

Jonathan Fields: [00:17:38] Yeah, I feel like so many people are in are in a similar window. These days, I'm having a lot of conversations with folks who are ten, 15, 20, 25 years into their career. And retirement is a weird word for a lot of people now, you know? And a lot of folks are like, and this includes me, you know, I'm looking at my next season of contribution. Not I'm not looking at retiring. I like work, I like to get up in the morning and exert myself and do things that are meaningful and purposeful. And I think a lot of people do. The question isn't, when do I get to opt out of this thing called work? It's like I want to keep actually doing cool, interesting things for as long as I can for as long as I'm granted. But like, what is that? And what is that look like? And it sounds like that's the moment that you and your husband were in.

Kim Fabian : [00:18:23] Absolutely, absolutely. And how can we make the most of this part of of our journey? Yeah.

Jonathan Fields: [00:18:31] So walk me through your Sparketype profile, and then. And then we'll talk a little bit about what that starts to lead to. Yeah.

Kim Fabian : [00:18:38] My primary Sparketype is the advisor. And then the shadow Sparketype is the sage. And I know that's a really interesting combination because, you know, you like guiding people, you like teaching people. And there's a fine line between those two. And I see that happening now in my consulting work where I really need to discern, do I need to be guiding and coaching this person, or do I need to be more of teaching or telling, you know, this person?

Jonathan Fields: [00:19:04] Yeah.And sometimes it's interesting that you bring that up because sometimes there is a tension between those two, you know, because especially in the classic coaching world, oftentimes, you know, when you're trained, one of the approaches to coaching, I would say, is sort of like the the dominant approach is that you never actually tell anyone what to do. You are there to create safety and hold space, and then ask questions and guide someone through a process of self-discovery and self, where the answers bubble up from that person and the conversation and the frameworks you provide. But it's not advice giving. It's not. It's not saying I have information for you that would be really helpful. And the sage is kind of the opposite. Sage is like, there's something that I know that I want you to know now. Um, so it's that's always a really interesting dance when people have that combination.

Kim Fabian : [00:19:52] And I work with a lot of newer nonprofit leaders who are either moving up into that role or moving from another sector into nonprofits. So for me, I do have to do both to really help them. You know, some of the things they're grappling with are more coaching and beliefs and and things that they need to grow within themselves, but others are more skills and best practices that they need to learn and be aware of.

Jonathan Fields: [00:20:20] Yeah.

Kim Fabian : [00:20:21] So it's a good fit for. Me having those two.

Jonathan Fields: [00:20:24] It sounds like it. It sounds like it. And for anyone who's who's not familiar with what these two things are, the advisor, the impulse for the advisor is to guide, guide others through a process of growth. And the impulse for the sage is basically to awaken insight, to teach, to, to transfer. It's like, I know something that is interesting and valuable to you, and I can't wait to share it and help you really understand. Not just hear it, but actually understand it and embody it. Um, so so so where does this lead you? So you're in this window, like you, you discover, okay. So, you know, like, I now know this really interesting thing about me. I'm in this window of discovery and giving myself a year or so to kind of, like, figure out what this is going to look like moving forward. How does how does this start to shape itself into what you eventually end up doing?

Kim Fabian : [00:21:12] Well, I. Determined that I do like to consult with people. It's almost like, you know, I remember always having this dream of opening a bed and breakfast. And then I realized I really just want to stay at a bed and breakfast because I don't want. All the work. I've had that same dream, by the way.

Jonathan Fields: [00:21:29] My wife and I. So we're right there with you.

Kim Fabian : [00:21:32] So this was sort of similar. It's like I love making an impact. I love the work of nonprofits. I've done the leadership thing for almost ten years in some capacity, but now I want to more support the people who are doing that work. Because if you see the statistics, the Chronicle of Philanthropy recently reported that 33% of nonprofit leaders plan to leave their roles within the next two years.

Jonathan Fields: [00:22:01] Wow.

Kim Fabian : [00:22:02] Yeah. And 22% plan to leave the sector altogether. And many of them are fulfilled by their jobs. But they say that the demands are relentless. And, you know, you don't get a lot of reward for that hard work that, that you're putting in. So it's really my goal to help nonprofit executive directors and teams feel more supported, lighten that weight on their shoulders, be able to focus on the great things they can do, and eliminate the the unessential things. And so we're trying to approach that work with a lens of, of mindfulness and wellbeing, because we feel like that is the foundation that is going to give people the resiliency to sustain their organizations.

Jonathan Fields: [00:22:51] That, I mean, and that is such an important focus now, I think especially I mean, it's an important focus for anybody, especially in the world of work. And I think a lot of people have become more aware of it after living through the last four years, but especially in the world of of nonprofits where you, like so many people, step into that world fiercely mission driven and like it's there's a purpose behind it. And you want to give, give, give, give. But at some point, like you can't give, you know, against an empty well. And I've had so many conversations with folks over the years who are trying to do that, and it leads to burnout. You know, it just it becomes really brutal 100%.

Kim Fabian : [00:23:31] In fact, one of my clients recently said to me, you know, we work with people who are in crisis, and therefore that is how we operate our organization. And so they're grappling with all this turnover and burnout. And, you know, there there is a better way. And we try to create the space for them to step back and look at the ways that they can release some of that common sense of overwhelm that occurs when these organizations are growing their missions now.

Jonathan Fields: [00:24:00] So when you make the decision to say, you know, actually consulting is a format for me to step into this new season of of work and life in a way that kind of checks a lot more of the boxes. What other considerations were you thinking about when you're thinking about like, how do I do this in a way that doesn't repeat the things that I'm trying to leave? That is actually nourishing and supportive of not just my work, but my life.

Kim Fabian : [00:24:26] I think one of the things that my husband and I actively did was create values for ourselves about the parameters around our boundaries, I guess around how we work, but also the values that we have in working with our clients, things like being responsive to them, following through on things, being supportive, and then the boundaries on our side are more like, we never want to take on too many clients because we feel overwhelmed, and so they feel like we're always rushing from one thing to another, like we want every client to feel like they're our only client and we're focused on on what they need. And for me, that brings a level of calmness to the way that I'm able to work with them. And it was funny because when I was reviewing my Sparketype again, that was one of the words that came out of the advisor like calmness, genuineness. And those are, you know, in the best possible world, how I would really like my clients to describe me.

Jonathan Fields: [00:25:28] Yeah. And it's interesting you bring that up. The, you know, the advisor. What we've learned is it is a deeply, deeply relational impulse or sparketype, you know, the reward comes in no small part from not just guiding a client or another or a group like, to a particular outcome that they really want, like through this process of growth, but also in developing the safety and the trust and the intimacy, like a really genuine, nurturing, um, helpful relationship along the way. That's a big part of what's fulfilling for the advisor. It sounds like you kind of keyed in on that pretty early.

Kim Fabian : [00:26:04] Yeah, 100%. And, you know, one of the other values that we we determined is we talk about mindfulness meets Its mission in our business. But what does mindfulness really mean with the people that we serve? These purpose driven leaders? And for us, it means putting people first. So there's that that relational thing, eliminating the unessential and embracing and cultivating that sense of wellbeing. And so all of those things to me help build better teams, better leaders and better communities.

Jonathan Fields: [00:26:39] Yeah, that makes a lot of sense. You know, one of the things I'm curious about also, you know, as you shared your primary was advisor shadow was the sage. We also see sometimes that these pair up in a business way or in a career building way, especially if you end up being a service professional or having your own consulting practice, as it's almost like the sage creates teaching opportunities that often serve, as you know, potentially just stand alone ways to create an offering or product or service, like a teaching, an event, you know, a seminar or a webinar that people can pay for and that can generate income for you. But at the same time, also, oftentimes that sage creates these experiences as a way to be able to share really important insights and knowledge, which with larger numbers of people knowing that at some point, you know, like a smaller percentage of those people will then say, oh, this is really interesting and valuable, I'd love to actually work with you in a more private way, and that that can actually be a really constructive way that the sage and the advisor end up working together and helping to build a really sustainable enterprise. I'm wondering if that's a part of what you do at all.

Kim Fabian : [00:27:55] Not yet. But that is how we'd like to grow. We're sort of doing it the backwards way. People are working with us personally first, and I'm really interested in getting together peer groups of nonprofit leaders. I hosted a retreat this past year that was in person here locally, and it was so successful, not only for me to be able to facilitate and provide some insight, but also for these folks to gather together and share their successes and their challenges. So I hope to do more of that to support the nonprofit sector in a in a larger way than just working one on one with organizations.

Jonathan Fields: [00:28:37] Yeah, no, that makes a lot of sense. And also it sometimes it allows you to to increase accessibility to what you have to offer, because not everybody can afford a private consulting contract. And but some people can really learn from all of the wisdom that you've accumulated over the years in this particular field. So it it allows you to serve a broader spectrum of people and organizations to when you have this sort of like different types of offerings. Exactly. When you as somebody who's like, so this is fairly new right? We're talking a year or so two years. Right. So you're still in the early days of this when you look out. Or are you somebody who tends to be forward looking and saying, oh, this is what I want this to become in five, three years, five years, ten years. Do you have a sense of visioning for what you'd like it to grow into? Or are you just kind of like taking it as it comes?

Kim Fabian : [00:29:27] I think part of the exploration of this was working with a variety of clients on a variety of projects, and seeing what really lights us up. And so part of it was more of that focus in these initial years. And now we're getting more into that visioning aspect. Where do we want this to go? What types of experiences do we want to create for these folks? What are the things that are most important to us in the areas that we're focusing on, that we want to expand upon? Like what platform can we create for for these types of messages?

Jonathan Fields: [00:30:03] Yeah. No, that makes so much sense. It's a little bit of just being deeply present and paying attention. And at the same time, in the back of your mind, you're kind of saying like, how do I where is this all? Where does this want to lead? And at the same time, like you personally. Like, where do I like, where do I need this to lead? Just for me. Like, I think that's always an interesting dynamic. Like, what does the market want from us and what are we capable of providing? But also how does that sync with the way that I want to feel when I show up at work every day?

Kim Fabian : [00:30:31] Yeah. And that's exactly that's a perfect description of it. Yes.

Jonathan Fields: [00:30:34] Yeah. Love that. Um, as we wrap up, any final thoughts or words of wisdom for our listening community as they think about, like, how they might imagine or create the work life that they dream of?

Kim Fabian : [00:30:48] I would say there's there's something that one of my yoga instructors said at one time that has stuck with me, and it was we must ground into our sense of wellbeing so we can expand into our moments. And I just thought that was so powerful in so many ways. But I would say that one of the ways, the key ways that we can create that sense of wellbeing is to align with work that lights us up. And so that's why I've been so appreciative of your podcast of this tool and I hope other people can can benefit from it as well.

Jonathan Fields: [00:31:25] Mhm. I love that. Thank you so much. Really good. Just diving into your story and learning from you.

Kim Fabian : [00:31:31] Thank you.

Jonathan Fields: [00:31:36] And if you'd like to share your career transformation story on the SPARKED podcast, to inspire others to maybe feel less stuck or unsure about their own career paths, we encourage you to apply to be a guest and check out the form in the show notes, because we believe that everyone deserves to find fulfillment and purpose in their work. And remember, if you're at a moment of exploration, looking to find and do or even create work that makes you come more fully alive, that brings more meaning and purpose and joy into your life. Take the time to discover your own personal Sparketype for free at sparketype.com. It'll open your eyes to a deeper understanding of yourself and open the door to possibility like never before. And hey, if you're finding value in these conversations, please just take an extra second right now to follow and rate SPARKED in your favorite podcast app. This is so helpful in helping others find the show and growing our community so that we can all come alive and work in life together. This episode of SPARKED was produced by executive producers Lindsey Fox and Me, Jonathan Fields. Production and editing by Sarah Harney. Special thanks to Shelley Adelle for her research on this episode. Until next time. I'm Jonathan Fields and this is SPARKED.