The Perfect Morning Routine (is not what you think)

LinkedIn (00:00:15) - LinkedIn Presents.

Jonathan Fields (00:00:28) - Okay, morning routines. There's just so much mythology around them. Some of it's true and valuable, but a whole lot of it is also just plain wrong. And it can lead us to think that we have to adopt certain approaches to start our day that are universally helpful for every person. Truth is, life just doesn't work that way. So today we're taking on the topic of morning routines, and there are going to be some big surprises, provocative ideas, and a healthy dose of myth busting. And then we'll be sharing a more well rounded, inviting. Anyone can do this approach to what you do when you're preparing to get into your day and even starts with the challenge. How about we stop calling these morning routines? Why would we do that? Well, we dive into that and so many other valuable and actionable tips about how best to start your day in today's Smart Hot Take episode.

Jonathan Fields (00:01:24) - And joining me to tease out ideas is brain trust regular Charlie Gilkey. Charlie is a strategic advisor, executive coach, founder of the Productive Flourishing consultancy and offer the critically acclaimed Start Finishing. And his latest book, Team Habits, is now available. So join us for a creative reconsideration of the perfect morning routine. So excited to share this conversation. I'm Jonathan Fields and this is SPARKED. Hey, before we dive into today's show, you know, we've learned that a lot of our listeners are sort of at this moment where they're really exploring the notion of work in their lives and their next moves in their careers. And if you are in that place, we talk about the spark and the sparketypes a lot on this show, this body of work that we've developed to help you really identify what makes you come alive and how to apply that to the world of work. We've heard from a lot of folks that they would also love some help along that journey. If you're curious, you can also find on our website a directory of Certified Sparketype Advisors who know this body of work and can really help coach and guide you through it.

Jonathan Fields (00:02:34) - So we'll drop a link to the show notes in that right now. And if it feels interesting to you and you just like somebody to help guide you through this next part of your career or work journey, take a look and see if somebody resonates. It might be the perfect fit to help you along this next leg of your journey. Again, that link is in the show notes now.

LinkedIn (00:03:01) - 

Jonathan Fields (00:03:33) - Hello. Hello. Hello. Charlie Gilkey. Always good to be hanging out with a dear friend, a member of the Sparked Brain Trust.

Jonathan Fields (00:03:39) - Today we are diving into a smart, hot take where we take on one particular episode in the world of work and how we can make that world better. Today we're taking on a little bit of a sacred issue for a lot of people, not sacred in a religious point of view, but sacred in terms of there's a lot of mythology around this thing that a lot of people claim is or is not necessary and also may or may not need to be done a very specific way at a very specific time. And that thing is the morning routine. So we're going to dive into this a little bit and figure out what is it? What is it, what's real, what's not real, and maybe what goes into it if in fact it Israel. So maybe you want to kick us off with a bit of a meta frame on this. Charlie Yeah.

Charlie Gilkey (00:04:25) - You know, I didn't know we were going to go to the other day, but this is one of those jams I can go with a lot. So let's do a little bit of conceptual shifting on this one because as I was telling you in the in the pre greenroom, like I think everyone needs a start up routine, but it's not necessarily a morning routine.

Charlie Gilkey (00:04:41) - And the reason that's important is because obviously Chronotype we're not all morning people. The book The Power of Wind, I forget the author's name right now goes into this a lot and gives four different types of chronotype. So lions, bears, wolves and dolphins. Lions go with sort of the early bird wolves go with the night owls. He made this mammalian because we're mammals and so why not? Why don't we use mammals? Bears are actually sort of sluggish late morning starts, folks, based upon societal norms. And then dolphins have a really erratic sleeping and sort of circadian rhythm. It turns out most people are not lions. Most people are the other types. And so this whole get up at 430 in the morning and crush it and do all of that sort of whatnot, that's great. If you're a lion. I'm a lion, right? I can get up and by most days, nine, 10:00, I've done what most people are going to do their entire day works great for me. Angela is a bear.

Charlie Gilkey (00:05:35) - By the time I'm done, she's just getting warmed up. But the flip side is, you know, later in the day she's much more powerful. But what I want to start here and why I want to start with a startup routine versus a morning routine is to acknowledge that when and how you start your day is important. When that happens is going to be very bio unique to you and very unique to your life circumstance. Obviously, you have kids. If you're going to school, you're taking them to school, that that's going to alter some of those. But I think the importance, the real principle that works, aside from all of this sort of prescriptive, get up at 530 and do the thing is setting yourself up so that you center your day based upon your values and priorities and where the energy needs to go versus just sort of jumping into the whirlwind. Now, there's one caveat here. There's a lot of caveats to this. Believe it or not, some people actually do ground themselves by checking email first thing and getting into the flow and getting warmed up and for those folks, that is, in fact part of their startup routine.

Charlie Gilkey (00:06:38) - But you'll notice if you pay attention or if you coach them, that there's sort of a post warm up phase where they'll step back and say, okay, now that I'm in the groove, now that I'm in the prime, what really do I want to do today? How do I want to feel today? So and so forth. So I just want to break down this idea that it's got to be 415 in the morning. You've got to do the meditation first thing. You've got to do your journaling first thing. And if you don't, you're some just can't get right loser. That's never going to be successful.

Jonathan Fields (00:07:07) - Okay, So let's talk about the time of day thing, because for me, that is something that I have experimented with and I've also found that my chronotype has not really been the same over different seasons of my life, which is another thing that I think sometimes we don't really dive into. I'm curious because you decided this person who was carrying some research and some actual Intel on this, is it accurate to say that people's chronotype may well shift during different seasons of life too? So you could be in your 20s, you know, like somebody who you're a bear so you don't get going until mid-morning, whatever that that is for you.

Jonathan Fields (00:07:47) - But then later in life you can actually shift into line mode so that, you know, you're the 5 a.m., like up with eyes wide open and like energized and focused person. Is that real? Do we have shifts like that that are not just, you know, individual but also seasonal or season of life related?

Charlie Gilkey (00:08:06) - Yes. So regardless of what's in his book, I've also experienced that both with me and across many scores of clients. Right. Because so much of this is determined on when you sleep. So let's think about that, right? Teenagers tend to get up, tend to sleep or go to bed much later and want to get up much later, though, we forced them to get up earlier. So they're chronically off where they actually want to be. And then for many people, especially if you come from a. Achievement, culture, family or something like that. Your 20s are your time where you're, you know, striving hard and you're probably socializing hard, right? And so you don't actually know what your true chronotype are until you mellow out a little bit and you're like, Wait a second.

Charlie Gilkey (00:08:49) - Like, I don't have the stamina of working 14 hours and then, you know, partying for five hours or whatever that looked like for you. And so you might actually find that there's a more comfortable rhythm when it comes to that. And also, as you age, you might need to sleep less. Your diet changes, all those different types of things. Like I think we've talked about this, we did talk about this last time, y'all. We are organic, evolving beings. And then as our bodies and systems change, it makes sense that our productivity and energy and what we're into will change along with that. So yeah, why would we think for a being that lives, you know, 60 to 80 years, it is going to be one constant sort of way in which our energy shows up. So absolutely. And I'll go even further. I know for myself, even though I am a lion in the summer, especially our wonderful Pacific Northwest summers where I'm out riding motorcycles, doing things until like we didn't get in the other night until like 1130 Saturday night.

Charlie Gilkey (00:09:46) - I am not going to get up the next morning ready to go at 530. Not happening, right 8:00. Now, I still have this same sort of energy wave throughout the day, but it shifts, you know, an hour or 2 or 3. And so that's why I want to retreat back to the idea of the startup routine more so than like the morning ritual, because what is the morning? What does that look like? And regardless of what season of life you're going in and like, you're going to get up at a certain time unless, you know, you passed into the next season of life, you're going to get up. What do you do with that precious 2 to 3 hours first thing in a way that honors who you are and what matters in your different priorities? I think that's the most important question that the prescriptive, meditate, drink water, exercise like go through this list doesn't really have people think about.

Jonathan Fields (00:10:38) - Yeah, no, I love that and I appreciate it. And it also I love that what it does is it invites folks like shift workers and night workers and says that all of this prescriptive advice about the quote, morning routine and how it's mission critical if you want to achieve everything or anything in life and it says no, let's actually acknowledge the fact that people work in different ways.

Jonathan Fields (00:11:01) - People live in different ways. People's internal biological clocks function in different ways and shift away from the word morning routine or morning ritual to I like that. I like the notion of start up routine or start up ritual. If we disconnected from the fact that this is the thing that you do when you first open your eyes like no matter when it is and then just say this is the thing that you do when you are ready to get into a mode of creativity, project productivity, whatever it is, where you want to actually do your work are Before we actually talk about some of the things that might go into that type of routine. In your mind, are there key, key elements of just creating the container for it?

Charlie Gilkey (00:11:44) - There are action expresses priority, but also what's on your schedule, expresses priority. And I want to start there because setting that container so that the start of it is really focused on resourcing yourself, however that looks like for you and remembering that amongst the many different agents and beings that you deal with throughout the day, your needs are also on the table and need to be attended to, I think is the important way to start that container.

Charlie Gilkey (00:12:16) - And again, what goes in there, you see me being sort of shifty about that because different people need different things, right? Some people want morning pages, some people want to go to CrossFit first thing. It's really, you know, when I talk about time blocking, what we're really talking about in some ways is what I'll call a recovery block, which is what you do to resource yourself, recovers so and so forth. And what I say about recovery blocks is what the activity is, is not important. What it does for you is what's important. So if your first thing in the morning in that setting, that container of what replenishes me, what nourishes me, what gets me ready for the day, if that looks like Rage Against the Machine and CrossFit first thing, great. Like do that. If it looks like an hour of sort of hummingbird birding around your house and you know, sort of doing a little bit of laundry and some coffee and taking the dog out for the walk and reading the paper and just sort of easing into the day.

Charlie Gilkey (00:13:11) - By the way, you're probably a bear. But if that's what it looks like, that's also great. One is not better than the other. And when we think about productivity, Jonathan, you know, because we've had so many talks, I have a love hate relationship with the field I'm tied to, right? Because it's so often about external outcomes and widgets and things like that. But there is a bias. That that first routine of going to get CrossFit and doing that kind of whatnot is productive in that second sort of easing into the day and shuffling is not productive. It's horseshit, right? Because it turns out one person may in fact need that slower wake up time and that's how they resource The other person may need that CrossFit. What is that morning activity doing for them? Now, that said, my general prescriptive advice here and I know we've been pushing back against prescriptive advice is to be careful about the different attentional channels that you open up. First thing, maybe going to Instagram first thing is not the way to go.

Charlie Gilkey (00:14:15) - If you have a tendency to go to Instagram and then feel bad about yourself, right? Maybe checking email is not the first thing to do if you tend to become more anxious and overwhelmed first thing, because I think what the first block of time, your startup routine, what it does is it sets the vibe for the day, right? If you're I had a teammate, she's now moved on to work at another great opportunity. Her vibe is high energy go all the time and we that's who she is and who she wants to be. And we love her for that. She needs to be at the gym at 430, right? I've got another teammate. Her vibe is chill, calm, slow throughout the day. She does not need to go to CrossFit first thing, right? She needs to walk in the afternoon, which is exactly what she does. So the principle is to use the container to put your needs, preferences, values on the table and to set the vibe that you want to be in for the day.

Jonathan Fields (00:15:12) - Yeah, I love that. So let me tee up this question then. Would it possibly make sense rather than having a, quote, standard start up routine where you kind of like whatever it is like at the same time of day you do the same thing every day, like clockwork, and it just becomes habit. Would there be an argument that says instead of doing that, it might actually make sense to create almost like a library of potential activities that might fold into your startup routine? And then when you say yes to that routine, you wake up, you ask some question that sounds like, What do I need now? Or today? Like, what do I need to to get into the space, the psychological, the emotional, the mental, the cognitive, the creative space now and for what I know is coming through the rest of the day, what makes sense to put into my startup routine today? It's like a boot up routine right on a computer. And then over time sort of like have a a vetted list of things that are available to you so you don't have to figure out what they are at that moment in time.

Jonathan Fields (00:16:28) - You already know what they are and you can just drop into them. But then just but really just take a beat and say, okay, so, you know, let's say I've got like a half an hour or so of the 15 things like blocks, little modules that I could hot swap into a startup routine, what do I need today and what will give me what I need?

Charlie Gilkey (00:16:48) - I love that. And you have to think about your startup routine is the way in which you build your whatever you're practicing most in your life, right? So if you are someone who is needing to practice more present and paying attention to your needs and paying attention to what's in right in front of you. Having a more dynamic start up routine is absolutely the way to go, right? Because you don't know what's going to happen with your kids or with your family or with your community or with what's happening in the in the ecosystem around you. And if you're practicing at the macro level, being more present, stealing a phrase from a good friend of mine, having more exquisite tension of what you're doing, then yeah, having a dynamic routine is absolutely the way to go.

Charlie Gilkey (00:17:36) - If you're trying to practice micro ways in which structure and habit can support you having a default way. I'm a default guy, so I don't want to think about a lot of what I do. I do pretty much. I've done pretty much the same thing for at least the last eight years. Decade. It's been a long time. I've lost count. I love that flow. It helps me ease into the day. I don't have to think about, you know, whether I'm having tea this morning or whether I'm meditating or if I'm sitting with my cat or where I'm sitting. Like it just is a very graceful flow for me and it's a balm to what the rest of my day can be, which is not that right? But again, if I were stuck in a rut and wanted to shake things up and wanted to be more wanted to practice paying more attention, I absolutely would have that sort of I think about it as like a deck of cards like which, which, which card. When you flip it over, does it feel right if you has to do it? If not, don't.

Charlie Gilkey (00:18:26) - Right, do the next thing. So yes, I think it would serve most of us depending upon what we're practicing, to either have a default and then have some easy go to options to switch it up or as a default play the switch it up game. But if you get stuck, have a run that you can just do that, you know works for you.

Jonathan Fields (00:18:47) - Yeah, that makes a lot of sense to me. And I love the notion of this is not necessarily an either or. It can be a yes. And like, yes, I'm going to ask myself the question, what do I need today? But at the same time, I'm going to have a default and going to do these 3 or 4 things just the way that I do them and have done them maybe every day for months or years now. But if the answer to the question tells me that specifically, you know what, you actually really need something a little bit different than what, you know, your typical start up routine is going to give you, It gives you the permission to say, I'm not failing.

Jonathan Fields (00:19:25) - If I veer a little bit this way or feel a little bit that way this morning. It's not that I've broken my routine or I've given up or I failed at the day. It's that I'm I'm acknowledging that I actually need something a little bit different today. And I have the tools or the modules available to me to just swap something else in. And so we can start out and basically say, unless there's an answer to that question that tells me I need to like go a different direction, I'm just going to do the same thing that I do every day, which is kind of the way that I practice my start up routine every day. I have had 2 or 3 pieces of a routine that I don't think about. I open my eyes. I get up early in the morning. For me, it is a morning routine, but I'm not a typical lion and that I'm not social, I'm not really human, I'm not interactive and I'm not super functional. Like if you were like, go out and work out hard or go out and, you know, like start writing, like, do your, your best writing from 5 to 7 a.m..

Jonathan Fields (00:20:29) - No, it does not work for me. I'm not just my my. I don't function that way, but I'm up I'm up really early without an alarm clock and I want to use that time wisely. So for me, you know, the first two pieces of it, I get up, I do a meditation and a pranayama practice, a breathwork practice right after that. That's the typical thing for me. But then there's another often 10 to 15 minutes where I kind of just figure it out as I go. And it also changes with the season. So now that it's, you know, we're in summer in, in the mountains and the sun has finally come, we're out of monsoon season, I generally wander downstairs. I quietly make a pot of coffee. I go out on the front porch and I just sit and I do nothing. I am intentionally unproductive for about another 15 or 20 minutes and that sets the day up in a way which is really effective for me. And I also know that as the summer progresses, I'm a hiker, that the late day heat where we are will get really intense.

Jonathan Fields (00:21:37) - And I don't care if people say it's a dry heat, it's really hot because at altitude the sun has nothing to filter it. So I know that instead of doing my normal hike in the late afternoon or even early evenings towards the end of the summer and early fall, even, I will very likely start to switch my hike in to that start up routine. That'll be the tail end of my starter routine and the whole quote, productive. Part of my day is going to shift back and I'll actually do the work part later into the day or the afternoon. But it still starts with those same two things my meditation and my pranayama. And then I move into what makes sense for me now. So it's sort of a blend of the two things that you were talking about.

Charlie Gilkey (00:22:21) - Absolutely. I mean, mine shifts that way as well. So and you know what? I'll slide in here is my start up routine can be so good about getting me to jump into doing deep work and writing and things like that, that on days in which I'm not doing that, I have to actually interrupt it and do something different.

Charlie Gilkey (00:22:39) - Because otherwise I'll spend all day with a psychophysical sort of open loop about what About that thing like you do. The next thing, you didn't do the thing right. And I'll feel unsettled all day if I follow some of the steps. And so I'm like, Nope, I got to do something different because the vibe of the day is different, right? So in the summer I get up and work out first thing in the morning and move and do my body. And that's what I do after my sort of, you know, meditation and meditation transition playlist and those, those type of things, right? In the fall and winter, I invert that. I work out in the evenings, right? Because it's Pacific Northwest, it's like 430 and dark. What am I going I can't ride. I can't. I'm done for most of the outdoor things. And so during the winter, fall and winter, my my work is stacked in the morning in the same way. Well, in the inverse of the way yours is right, it's stacked in the morning, whereas in the summer it's actually a little bit later in the day, you know that that happens because it's hot outside.

Charlie Gilkey (00:23:39) - And if I'm riding the motorcycle, then I'm not doing anything work. But if I'm not riding the motorcycle, I'm inside because it's hot. You know, the thing about it is, is we evolved that way as a species that we were responsive to the environment and changing seasons and things like that. And I think by trying to make ourselves artificial or to separate ourselves from that, we've lost the dynamism that enhances our well-being, hence our creativity, our relationships, all those different types of things. Just because we're not following the seasons and trying to get ourselves onto the optimized, uniform productive track that just doesn't track who we are.

Jonathan Fields (00:24:21) - Yeah, I love that. I think the mythology that says the most productive people in the world do X often like what we're told to believe is X is the same thing for every person. X is the 4:30 a.m. wake up, followed by the morning pages, followed by the 35.24 minutes of intense exercise followed by this and followed by that rather than x being listens to what they need.

Jonathan Fields (00:24:50) - The most successful people wake up in the morning and listen to what they need, then give themselves what they need. And that should constitute the heart of a startup routine, whether it's early in the morning or whenever it may be. So all of this said, though, one is in the lens just out a bit before we wrap up, which is regardless of what goes into a particular startup routine, regardless of what time of day is appropriate for you to do it, do you feel it is actually important to do it for most people?

Charlie Gilkey (00:25:23) - Yes.

Jonathan Fields (00:25:24) - Tell me more.

Charlie Gilkey (00:25:25) - I think for most people, yes, because it takes a lot of work in this world to walk this world as a human with all the things that change and things like that. And your startup routine is a certainty. Anchor And there's a good book that you should read about that. It's called Uncertainty. But in the world of all the different changing things, your startup routine can be that constant that you know you're going to get what serves you because you don't there's no guarantees, obviously, in any given day, right? What's going to happen once you wake up to the world, once you start getting involved into economic activities or relational activities, whatever your day makes up.

Charlie Gilkey (00:26:07) - Right. But knowing that you put yourself on the table and that there is room for things that matter to you. I've seen it time and time again, bro, that it's just like people don't get to the in a day and feel so resentful they don't get to the end of the day and feel so apathetic. They don't get to that end of the day and feel like they've just been huffing and puffing all day and never got anywhere. So, you know, all those things where when you want to look at how you sort of close the chapter on a day and how you want to feel often starts with your startup routine. And so for most people, I think it does make sense. Like obviously if you're a dolphin or if you've got strange family or community situations where you just need to be responsive and things like that and it creates a much it creates much more stress to try to do it on, on things like that and like pay. Attention to that. But for most of us, or for many of us who are not in that scenario, you know, having that period of time and again, mine might be longer, yours might be 15 or 20 minutes, you'd be surprised by the difference at 15 and 20 minutes make can make and how so much crap that doesn't matter can eat up 15 to 20 minutes.

Charlie Gilkey (00:27:26) - I'm in displace what really does which is you and what again your needs, your preferences your value. So most people. Yeah I think it makes sense because where else and how else are you going to ensure that you are resourcing yourself, taking care of yourself, attending to the dimensions of yourself that matter most? If you're not that place that lives on the schedule and we just know, like for most people, well, I'll I'll sort of pause here real quick and say I think most a lot of people want to rebel about how well structured and habitual humans are. Like, there's a way you tie your shoes at this point. You don't vary the way that you tie your shoes. Most people sleep on one side of the bed. Most people brush their teeth a certain way. When you start stacking up a lot of the things we have defaults, we have habits. The question becomes how do we use these defaults and habits to really help us center ourselves and center our best work centered those around us.

Charlie Gilkey (00:28:25) - The last thing they'll say on this one is the list of what the most successful people do and all that prescriptive things. I just wish that more of those articles addressed the quality of that person's day in life, more so than just the social tokens that they're getting along the way. And look, we're both accomplished folks. We love getting stuff done. We love we love all that. But that is not the game. That's what accrues from playing this game called life. It's not the game of life itself. And so whenever you read one of those list, what I want you to pause and say, it's like, yes, doing that may help me get more of those trophies and achievements. Would that ultimately make me feel better? Would that ultimately lead to me thriving, or would I be another husk of a human that's got a bunch of trophies but is fundamentally miserable?

Jonathan Fields (00:29:23) - Yeah, such an important point. I think to look at a startup routine and sort of say, Does this support my dreams, Needs and values in a meaningful way is just a really important thing because to do it, just to do it or to do it because we're told that's how, quote, successful people operate, it just doesn't make any sense in most often it actually doesn't work for you.

Jonathan Fields (00:29:50) - It's got to be in support of the way that you are. And I love I love that you wrapped it back around to values, which is where we kind of started the conversation, too, because I'm thinking to myself, like, I meditate, not because I want to be productive, but because I want to be present in the lives of the people that I love dearly and who support me throughout the day. You know, I do my breathing exercises because I want to be I want to be calm and healthy. I move my body for similar reasons. Part of my daily startup ritual also is I generally wake up a little while before my wife and when she's up, like make her a pot of coffee, also fresh pot. And then we just have a long hug together again because it reinforces my values, because that's what I end of the day. Like, for me, it's all about the people that I'm around. So building your startup routine, not around some rote list of things that you're supposed to do at a generically appointed time that may not have relevance to you is not necessarily the way to do this thing.

Jonathan Fields (00:30:53) - So I hope we have shared some interesting insights for our fabulous listeners on this thing that most people call morning routines. But we're inviting you to reimagine it as a startup routine and how to step into it and what may or may not be a part of it, and then how to make the decision about what is going to be most useful for you. Charlie Always good hanging out with you and diving into topics and we will see all of you on the next episode. Take care. Hey, so I hope you enjoyed that conversation. Learned a little something about your own quest to come alive and work in life and maybe feel a little bit less alone along this journey to find and do what sparks you. And if you'd love to share your own moment and question with us, we would love to hear from you. Just go ahead and click on the submissions link in the show notes to get the details on how to do that. And remember, if you're at a moment of exploration looking to find and do or even create work that makes you come more fully live, that brings more meaning and purpose and joy into your life, take the time to discover.

Jonathan Fields (00:31:59) - For your own personal sparketype for free at sparketype.com. It'll open your eyes to a deeper understanding of yourself and open the door to possibility like never before. And hey, if you're finding value in these conversations, please just take an extra second right now to follow and rate SPARKED in your favorite podcast app. This is so helpful in helping others find the show and growing our community so that we can all come alive and work in life together. Until next time. I'm Jonathan Fields. And this is SPARKED.